Are My Feelings About My Toxic Mum Valid?

Are you wondering if negative feelings about your mother are natural? After all, she is your mother. Are your feelings valid? Are you right or wrong?

Are your feelings about your toxic mum valid?


In the intricate dance of a toxic mother-daughter relationship, emotions become the choreographers of our internal landscape. These feelings, often intense and conflicting, are not just valid; they are the compass guiding us through the labyrinth of healing. In this blog post, we'll not only explore the spectrum of emotions daughters encounter but also shed light on how acknowledging and embracing them can be transformative.

The Validity of Your Emotions: A Personal Tapestry

Loss and Grief: More Than a Void

Meet Emma, a resilient soul navigating the complexities of a mother-daughter bond. For Emma, the feelings of loss transcended mere absence; they were poignant threads of grief woven into the fabric of her identity. As we worked together, Emma discovered that acknowledging this grief was not a sign of weakness but a courageous step toward reclaiming her sense of self.

Hate and Frustration: Sophie's Journey to Liberation

Sophie's story echoed the sentiments of many. The simmering emotions of hate and frustration, born from years of manipulation, were like heavy burdens on her heart. Through our sessions, Sophie learned that these emotions were not reflections of her character but natural reactions to an unhealthy dynamic. Acknowledging them was the first step on her journey to forgiveness.

Anger and Fear: Melissa's Quest for Autonomy

Melissa, a spirited participant in our healing community, grappled with the volatile mix of anger and fear, products of her mother's controlling behaviour. Together, we unpacked these emotions, discovering that they held the key to defining and asserting boundaries. Melissa's journey was a testament to the transformative power of acknowledging and understanding one's anger.

Sadness and Pain: Sarah's Odyssey to Self-Discovery

Sarah's narrative was defined by profound sadness and pain stemming from emotional absence. Her emotions were not weaknesses but signposts pointing toward unmet needs. As Sarah embraced her feelings, a process of self-discovery unfolded. Each tear shed became a droplet nurturing the seeds of resilience and self-compassion.

Rejection: Lisa's Path to Self-Acceptance

Lisa's journey unveiled the subtle yet profound impact of maternal rejection. Her achievements were often met with criticism or indifference, leaving her feeling unacknowledged. By recognizing these feelings of rejection, Lisa embarked on a path toward self-acceptance, understanding that her worth wasn't contingent on external validation.

Embracing Your Feelings: Messengers of Change

Criticism: A Call for Boundaries

In the realm of toxic relationships, criticism often becomes a tool for control. If you find yourself wounded by constant critique, consider this: your feelings are signalling that your boundaries are under attack. Embracing this emotion is the first step toward asserting your worth.

Control: Reclaiming Autonomy

Feeling suffocated or controlled? Your emotions are shouting for autonomy. By acknowledging these feelings, you can untangle the threads of control and pave the way for a life defined by your choices, not manipulation.

Competition: Redefining Success

In environments of unhealthy competition, feelings of rivalry or inadequacy are valid emotional responses. Embracing these emotions liberates you from the shackles of comparison, allowing you to celebrate your unique journey.

Emotional Absence: A Journey to Wholeness

Emotional absence from a mother can create a void that feels insurmountable. Acknowledging this emptiness is the first step toward seeking emotional fulfilment from healthier sources and building resilience in the face of maternal neglect.

Your Feelings as Catalysts for Transformation

Meet Lynne: A Tale of Emotional Absence and Rediscovery

Lynne, a courageous soul in our healing community, faced years of emotional absence from her mother. In her words, she described her feelings as messengers, signalling areas in her life that needed attention. Through active listening and acknowledgment, Lynne embarked on a journey of self-discovery, gradually transforming her relationship with her mother.

Moving Toward Healing: Your Journey, Your Way

Recognising the validity of your emotions isn't about denying or suppressing them; it's about understanding them as signals that something in your life needs attention and resolution. In my Daughters of the Roses program, women like Emma, Sophie, Melissa, Sarah, Lisa, Lynne, and countless others have found solace in acknowledging their feelings and using them as catalysts for transformation.

An Offer of Support: How to Break Free from Your Mother Wound Guide

To support you on your unique healing journey, I invite you to download my free guide, "How to Break Free from Your Mother Wound." This comprehensive resource offers insights, exercises, and strategies to help you navigate the complexities of a toxic mother-daughter relationship. Your feelings are not just valid; they are guiding lights on your path to healing.

To download your guide and take the next step toward emotional freedom, visit Breaking Free Guide.

Conclusion: A Journey of Compassion and Freedom

Your feelings about your toxic mother are not just valid; they are instrumental in guiding you toward a place of healing. Embrace them, listen to their messages, and know that there is a path forward. The journey may be challenging, but with support and self-compassion, you can break free from the chains of the past and step into a future marked by authenticity and emotional freedom. Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Together, we can explore the intricacies of your emotions, unravel the threads of toxic patterns, and pave the way for a more authentic, nurturing connection with yourself and your mother.

Award Winning Psychotherapist and Mother Wound Whisperer, Charlotte Pardy MA.

Categories: : mom, Mothers, mum, Relationship, toxic